Standing In The Shadows
Losing and Finding
Many years ago, the gym served as my home away from home. I was one of those aerobics people in those days, the kind who chattered her way through locker room into the open floored class space, and then whooped her way through class. I was exceedingly comfortable in...Postcard to Obama
This fall a Maryland Institute of Art graduate launched a public art project called Postcards to Obama. She put people’s messages to President Obama on the Internet and sent the cards to the White House. It was truly as simple a project as one could dream up,...Farmers' Laments (& Triumphs)
“I've been feeling acutely aware of how it's a really rare thing to have a perfect farming season.” Oona Coy, Town Farm, Northampton, August 2009 One of the many pleasures of buying into a farm share (we’re on our second farm, the first,...Teddy's Privilege
For days, like so many other people, I’ve been thinking about why the loss of Teddy Kennedy has hit me hard. There are the obvious reasons: from the larger than life sway the Kennedy family holds in Massachusetts most especially to Teddy’s (I’m going...Reflections on Summer Day Camp, 2009
With cooler mornings and evenings, and a slew of bright, dry days calling out, “September,” right on cue, I find myself glancing backward, to drink in the last of summer’s glory. This year, memory is not drenched with humidity nor scorched by massive...Surprises
Each baby’s arrival—however eagerly anticipated, however expected and planned for—is a surprise. Nothing is so common, so universal and so unique all at once. The process of giving birth does have certain trajectories, and when you get to know them,...It's Labor Day in Uncertain Times
Although Labor Day weekend has become the traditional end of summer marker (even falling late as it has this year), the Federal holiday was signed into existence in order to honor the nation’s workforce. What an odd holiday this year, then, when so many are...Still Waters
It’s quiet in my house. The kids are off with the dear husband at a neighborhood party I’ll join them at in a little while. Outside, a lawnmower buzzes. The light reveals autumnal clarity and a few leaves have turned colors and dropped, quietly and without...Real Medicine versus Made-Up Medicine & the Health Care Address
President Obama began his speech with a couple of stories. Here’s one: a woman’s insurance company denied her coverage when she was in need of a mastectomy because she’d neglected to report that she’d received acne treatment. By the time her...Starts and Starts
It's been a week focused upon beginnings around here. For all four kids, it was the first week of school. That’s right, even Saskia has her own school (she’ll be spending three mornings a week at the wonderful, warm, homey Sunnyside Child Care Center)....Tuesday Musings, Autumnal Ingredients
Although that first autumnal crispness faded back to some hot sun (no complaints), the collective gestalt around here has moved on from summer’s lovely pleasure seeking ways to a sense of productivity (or should that be Productivity?). School’s in session,...Walk Which Way
Until I read about myself—well, not me specifically, let’s just say my ilk—I never knew I had become a “free-range” mother. Of course, my immediate association is that I should get chickens of the free-range variety and much as in theory...A Story of Open Adoption, Closed–& Other Adoption Stories
At the request of the blogger, this post has been removed. March 1, 2016Plan B
The day dawned cool, foggy then warmed up clear, blue sky, puffy white clouds in classic September-in-New-England fashion. There are things you know about certain days, like these warm September sunny skies cool off quicker than you expect. There are other things you...Rules of the Playground
"At school, on the playground, you can't just play with one friend," Remy complains. "You have to be friends with everyone. Sometimes, I just want to play with Gabe.” As I write those words down, I wish I could adequately convey Remy’s...Aspects of Time, The Third Child, and Nectar
Any time someone ventures, with a hint of seriousness, interest in having a third child, I hear myself saying the same thing: the third child is nectar. For me, the nectar is named Remy—and he’s turning seven (gasp!). It’s hard to accurately travel...Rethinking Atonement
I know it’s not a really good thing, as a Jew, to say that Yom Kippur—namely the whole atonement angle—doesn’t sit right with me. This is the most somber and critical holiday, and I’m sure to question it is practically blasphemous. And...How Many Apples, How Many Loves
A few weeks ago, Sarah, the lovely smiling blonde woman from Apex Orchards had Zestar apples for sale at the Tuesday Market. (Quick aside: here's a link to a wonderful, uplifting video of the Tuesday Market.) I’d never heard of Zestars before. In appearance,...Quiet Givers
Recently, our local paper has run a couple of stories about quiet givers. One was about Jim Olsen of Whatley’s Signature Sounds label donating the 15 year-old company’s entire collection—83 recordings—to the town’s library. Librarian...Kate Minus Jon
When Jon and Kate Gosselin—and their jaw-dropping brood of eight, in the form of twin daughters plus sextuplets (three daughters and three sons)—started off on their media adventures, I watched them with a critical (as in, media criticism critical) eye,...Musing–More–About Atonement
Last week, I had one of those great life tutorials, in which my friends gave me lots to chew on. No surprise there: I have received some amazing gifts in my life and friends rank pretty high on that list, a bunch of smart, funny, compassionate, fun, supportive,...Four Children
While waiting for Saskia’s arrival, we were nervous in more ways than you can count on both hands. There was the (rather encompassing) set of adoption-related anxieties: would the baby be healthy? Would Caroline, the birth mother, feel similarly resolved to go...Laramie Project & How the Story Goes
It’s hard even to know where to begin. Maybe, I’ll begin as the lights went up just after the Laramie Project, Ten Years Later: An Epilogue at Northampton’s Academy of Music Theatre ended. Lucien, my eleven year-old declared, “My favorite part...Clotheslines, Chickens, & Blogging for Climate Change
Hang a clothesline. That sounds simple enough, right? Electric clothes dryers comprise at least six percent of household energy consumption. An article in last week’s New York Times reveals that the seemingly simple clothesline isn’t necessarily without...Love and Sadness
There are three kinds of autumn days I find most poignant: those chilled blowy days when leaves are swirling and I feel tossed around as those wisps of color; cloudy days when grey sky offsets jewel colored leaves all the more brilliantly as if from darkness the...Readiness
Last week, Saskia and I went to the co-op. Please don’t imagine cute little toddler girl with a neat ponytail atop her head sitting, belted in by the handy safety strap on each cart, in the shopping cart. Instead, imagine cute little toddler girl, hair long and...A Million Ways to Be: More on Gender, Dress, Marriage, Geography and Identity
Recently, I interviewed Clark University Professor Abbie Goldberg about her new book, Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle. She researched gay and lesbian families—interviews, both of parents and grown kids of gay and...Goodnight, Farm
One of the saddest moments of the year (perhaps I exagerate? not so) arrived on Friday—the final farm share pick-up at Town Farm. Sad, because we’ll miss our weekly visits to the farm—we’ve enjoyed the delicious bounty and the neighborhood-y...Bad Books, WImpy Kids & Reading–Or Not
Back when my older two sons were smaller, we tried hard to steer them toward “good” books (and “good” everything else, for that matter). While occasionally a Disney treatment of a classic story would wander into the house, for the most part, we...Election & Post-Election: Obama, the Future, Health Care & a Mayoral Race
I may not love electoral politics (I don’t like ‘em much at all) but I love to vote. Every time I push open the heavy doors at Smith Vocational High School and walk down the short hallway to our makeshift polling place, I get butterflies in my stomach. I...The Lesson of Friendships Lived
When George Markham died last weekend, surrounded by close friends and his wife of 40 years, Arky, people were gathered around, loving George with their presence—and talking politics. Lisa Baskin, his dear friend (and my mother-in-law) said, “He would have...October Wedding
Write a short story, Lucien’s sixth grade assignment goes. Elements needed to make a story work, Lucien is told include narrative, character development, place, and conflict. Lucien can set the scene. He can make up a story, as in this happens then this then...The Vote in Maine, The Change We Seek/Need (& Will Get)
It wasn’t that I was surprised about Maine voters banning gay marriage. Although I knew that thirty other votes on the issue had gone against gay marriage and that conservatives bent upon “preserving” marriage (as in, heterosexual marriage) poured...Health Care Reform, Abortion Rights, & Glasses Half-Empty (for Half the Population)
Dozing off last night, I caught the headline on the New York Times’ webpage announcing the health care bill had passed in the House. Sweet dreams are made of this, right? Well, I woke find the health care glass isn’t entirely half-full. What it took to get...Stories, Telling
It would seem that I’ve told my story of getting an abortion at seventeen about a thousand times (well, not that many, but plenty). To date, I’ve written about the experience, spoken about it publically (at Speak Outs–Breaking Silences about...Hands
At Sunnyside Childcare Center, where Saskia spends three (cheery paint-and-playground-and-peer-filled) mornings each week, there’s a whole curriculum called Second Step covered across the different classrooms. Remy, now seven, also went to Sunnyside, and so I...Sleep Tight
Last night, at around ten, the power went out. I did what any exhausted person would logically do: I put the computer down, sunk under the covers, and let the terrified eleven year-old into my bed. All the windows in the houses nearby that were normally illuminated at...Mmm… Pie.
Do you like pie? If you live in the Pioneer Valley, you are in luck. For the very last year of the Food Bank Farm—as locals know, an institution; if you live elsewhere, click, read, (click both, two part interview) be awed, as we are here—its famous...Winter Night, Air
A couple of nights ago, I was walking home right around dinnertime. Winter night sensation: the air almost liquid in its thinness, so sleek. Cold scent, breath made clouds, body moved faster to cut through the space between warm building and the next warm building....Hungry for Health Care for All (Women, Included)
In the season of Thanksgiving, as the Senate agrees to debate health care reform, I think we should be looking at hunger—and its implications, in regards to this health care debate (fingers crossed, not debacle). Consider this very sobering news: more Americans...Photograph
Recently, my cousin, Jon, sent a photograph around to family members of our grandfather, Albert Werthan perched—sitting’s too casual a word, really—at a picnic table, impeccably dressed in a blue suit despite his surroundings, pipe in mouth, and...Giving Locally, Craftily, Thoughtfully, & of Yourself
In these anxious times—environmentally precarious, economically challenging, politically fraught—there is little—maybe not any thing—that seems to go unexamined and un-fretted over. And this includes shopping. The pressure is amped up during...On the Other Side of the New Jersey Turnpike
Most of the time in my adult life as parent, writer, and Western Massachusetts resident, I am aware of being a daughter in relatively adult ways: I love checking in with my mother, catching up, sharing news. There is a sense of kinship and more importantly, of...Study War No More
The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice." -Martin Luther King, Jr. Sometimes, ideals or beliefs are discounted as being too “naïve,” and without regard for real-world concerns. This week, that’s a tension I keep...One Foot–& Another Foot
Yesterday, in my relatively little town (population, about 30,000), over 4,100 people showed up on a cold December morning to walk or run—two mile walk, five kilometer run—in support of Safe Passage, an agency that runs a shelter for women and children,...The Snow, Apologies, & Learning to Love
I awoke—once around four, then again at six—to the purple-tinged darkness that is a snowstorm in action in the night. The snow is laying down a soft blanket (before the threatened sleet and ice and rain later on). It was exceedingly quiet, even muffled and...Obstacle Courses & Treasure Hunts (& Stuff to Do This Weekend)
There are those days, as a parent, when stir crazy applies. Sometimes, on those days, you can just get up and out and go or do and sometimes, you can’t. Every once in a while, those days coincide with my having just barely enough energy—or someone else in...Felt Like, War Prize
A week after announcing that he’s committing 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan, President Obama flew to Geneva to accept the Nobel Peace Prize where he had to acknowledge the irony up front. Then, he went on to defend his decision to have our country...Legitmate Worries
Wemberly, Kevin Henkes’ anxious little girl mouse, has been on my mind recently. The thing to know—book title, Wemberly Worried, tells us so—is that Wemberly isn’t a cool cucumber. She worries. She worries about all kinds of things, from...Haiku for Health Care & Hope for the New Year?
In the weeks leading up the Presidential election last year, I practically could not sleep at all. Deep-seated anxiety kept me up (compounded by four children—one of them under one—MSNBC and the Internet). Things seemed so all or nothing, so war or peace,...Don't Just Buy Local, Give Locally
There’s been a lot of emphasis, especially in this dire economy and certainly this holiday season, about the import of buying local. The 3/50 Project has a simple idea about this (and some compelling numbers): basically, if every employed person spent $50 per...Parenting Equations, Grocery Expeditions, & Slippery Slopes
Sometimes the only way to describe parenthood is as a mathematical equation: I was nearing the end of one of those days just a few days ago, when lack of sleep plus loud, somewhat cranky kids equaled get-me-out-of-here; compounded by dearth of fruit and pasta, my...Digging for Treasured Days
It seems as if whatever the season, a really perfect combination is this: kids and shovels. Given the season here is winter and the gift from on high overnight was snow, there is the obvious kid+shovel combination, please, please take shovel in front of the house...Everything & Nothing (& How to Help in the Wake of Northampton Arsons)
In times of crisis, I’ve noticed there’s everything and nothing to say. Here’s what happened: early Sunday morning, my little town, a friendly and generally trusting—and trustworthy—place was deeply shaken when, for just over an hour, a...Sitting
It’s been very cold. After walking to town and back earlier this week, a chill lingered; even snuggled beneath blankets, I could not shake it. My year finishes with a similar sense of lingering uncertainty. In my town, a string of arsons less than a week ago set...Resolution Ritual
I really got into the whole New Year’s resolution “thing” soon after college, when my high school friend, Susan, stayed with me over New Year’s. We had one of those delicious, early twenties’ visits (time at cafés talking, time...Winter's Fare
Having gone to Hampshire College (I started there in 1981) and then mostly, staying in the Valley (year and a half sojourn to London in 1994, so my new bookseller-to-be hubby could work at Sotheby’s in rare books and manuscripts), I’ve watched what was...Sad, Sticky, & Luminous Strands*
There are two interconnected strands of story that keep weaving themselves in front of me, not pretty as a spider’s silk yet catch-a-fly sticky in the wake of the December 27th arsons that occurred in my little town. Event: a string of arsons was set in the very...Teachers Who Listen
In September, Saskia, then just 19 months, began spending three mornings a week at the Sunnyside Child Care Center. This is a dreamy spot: at the end of a road, perched above sloping woods, not far from the path beyond Paradise Pond at Smith College. Picture a...E-Edition
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