Wednesday, September 24, 2014 • 4:24 AM Comments (361)

Sentences Adults Utter

posted by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser

I cleaned the linen closet.

That’s a sentence I hadn’t envisioned myself uttering. It’s so… adult. It’s so not the adult sentence I’d exactly aspired to, but of course, if you have a house with many beds and people, you wind up with many sheets and many towels. And if you wind up with many sheets and towels, at some point all those sheets and towels pile up into the dark reaches of the linen closet and topple over and smell musty and generally gunk up the works. Plus, you have sheets rip, but not necessarily as sets. And once you begin to look, you discover there are still mattresses (yes, plural) for cradles and changing table pads long since relocated to households that board actual babies.

So, I cleaned the linen closet and I even washed all the stuff in it.

For kicks, I cleaned the drawers with cloth napkins and placemats and tablecloths, too.

Over at Full Grown People (which, kids, is about to publish its first anthology, and PS: one of my essays in said anthology) I have an essay on clothing swaps and what I learned from all the younger adults who have lived here in the last decade or so. Gina Easley’s accompanying photo is worth the click right there.

What are your adult sentences?

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