Are you sure you want to wait until spring? I must warn you that, by that time, we'll have emerged from the half-ice, half-diamond chrysalis where we've spent all winter writing and rehearsing material that was recently described by Pitchfork as "....like having an ice pick bashed through your left eye socket with a sledgehammer, except that, for the analogy to truly hold, both the ice pick and the sledgehammer would need to be set aflame by 1,000 dragons." Anyway, so our wings will have dried in the spring sun, and not even the Tommy Lee leather undies you'll be wearing will be able to bind us to the earth. In closing, nice to see you at the grocery store last night. I hope you enjoyed your Honey Nut Cheerios. Me? I was there to pick up a live yak that I'd had on layaway, which I proceeded to devour whole and live in that very parking lot, and after which I went home and wrote a riff so furious that it nearly cause Mt. Tom to slide into the sea -- and, yes, I mean the sea, even though it's like 100 miles away. Seriously.

Ice picks...bah!! 1,000 dragons...these are but the words of a lesser daemon, the like who gnaw yak-flesh in parking lots when it is not even time for the Big E's spectacular "Meat Sale." Honey Nut Cheerios, in fact, were designed by Lucifer himself, disguised as a humble apian of harmless-seeming stature--and EACH serving has 666 grams of EVIL, or at least that's what the box says. He could be lying, being the great deceiver. But he's sooooo hot, I let him take me home anyway.

If you're referring to the renowned "Truckload Meat Sale," you should know this: The next time you're in the passenger seat of one of those meat-laden trucks, take a look at the roof of the cab. You'll see a lot of dents. Those dents, of course, are from the trucker pumping his fist to Chronic Paradigm's latest hit singles, "Through the Black Mirror of Azuloth" and "Pythagoras Lied."