The 10 Gallon Liberal

In which we fix "America the Beautiful" for Republicans

I despise television advertising. I'm convinced watching the stuff lowers your IQ within seconds. However, the conservative collective freakout over Coca-Cola's "America the Beautiful" ad is entertainment of the first water. No absurd conclusion remains unjumped.

The ad is puerile nonsense, full of the kind of over-baked unreal sentiment that only the advertising world can paint with lipstick and pass off as plausible. There are many reasons to not like it, including that Coke is a nutritional timebomb. The fact that people sing the song in -gasp- different languages, however, is what's really bad. Really, really bad.

How bad? Well, just read it for yourself (at Breitbart)--

As far as the executives at Coca Cola are concerned, however, the United States of America is no longer a nation ruled by the Constitution and American traditions in which English is the language of government. It is not a nation governed in the Anglo-American tradition of liberty. It is instead a nation governed by some all inclusive multi-cultural synthesis of the various forms of government in the world...

And, of course, there's this:

The ad also prominently features a gay couple.

The utter howler, however, goes to Allen West:

I’m watching the Super Bowl, looks like good defense (Seattle) is trouncing good offense (Denver) when a Coca Cola commercial came on and it started rather patriotically with the words of “America the Beautiful.”

Then the words went from English to languages I didn’t recognize.

Scandalous, I say! I have, however, decided to rectify the situation for these alarmists. Here you are, fellows--"America the Beautiful," restored to American:

If the Republican party wants the votes of anyone who has yet to yell "you kids get off my lawn," they may have to reconsider doubling down on the 19th century.

Although the entertainment value has skyrocketed. This is spectacular material. It also really ought to help a lot with this. For at least one election. Maybe.

© 2014 The Valley Advocate