Sitting on the Baby

No, You Can't Have My Fingerprint

There's a little blinking pad on my laptop that flashes its brains out at me whenever I log in to my computer. It wants me to scan my fingerprint in for easy one-touch login! And also as a security measure so no one else can use my computer.

Well for one thing, I'm a mom, which means that every other person in my family uses my - I mean this - computer.

And for another, if someone did steal it and found they couldn't use it, it's not like they're gonna bring it back to me. "I'm so sorry miss, but when I discovered this clever security measure I just gave up. I promise I won't do it again."

It'll be in the dumpster or stripped for parts or whatever you do with a stolen laptop. Or they'll just get past the fingerprint password, which any halfway decent computer thief/hacker could do.

But mostly, why do I feel like it's a security measure against me? The paranoid post-Patriot Act skeptic in me says why in God's name would I put a copy of my fingerprint on my computer? So some government agent can download it and stick it in a database somewhere? It's bad enough I have to use my credit card numbers online, and on top of that now I'm on facebook, with half my personal information out there for everyone to see. Computers still creep me out.

So no, HP spooks, you will not get my fingerprint. Now quit blinking at me. I know you're just trying to wear me down. It won't work. Oh, where are Mulder and Scully when I need them?

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