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A Reader Gets RUFed

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Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Dear V-Spot,

I am a 20-something-year-old woman who loves having rough sex with lots of deep penetration. It feels so good in the moment, but sometimes up to a full 48 hours afterwards, I’m still feeling abdominal, lower back and vaginal pain from it all. I can’t help but feel freaked out that I’m doing some permanent damage to my vagina! What do you think? Am I in danger of long-term internal injury from rough sex?

—Roughed Up Forever?

Unfortunately, RUF, when it comes to bangin’ banging, if you do the crime, you gotta do the time. Though this “time” can come in many forms, such as cramping, bruises and off-cycle vaginal bleeding, rarely will you get slapped with a life sentence. Sexual pleasure, much like alcohol, has many endorphin- and adrenaline-induced effects on our bodies which can simultaneously allow us to make abnormally hasty decisions and significantly increase our pain tolerance. This is a recipe for a great slap-happy time, but the aftertaste can also be more bitter than sweet when the orgasms are over. While yelling “Harder!” may have seemed like a fantastic idea in the moment, it can be unnerving to feel the resulting cramping from internal vaginal bruises and/or bleeding.

Having sex, especially of the rough-and-tumble variety, isn’t too unlike putting your body through any other intense cardiovascular workout or physical challenge, so treat your body to similar preparation and aftercare. A professional baseball player never steps up to the plate without first warming up with a few practice swings, and the warm-up principle also applies to your vagina. Take your time with foreplay; not only is it important to be turned on for better sex, but a warmed-up vagina is also more elastic, lubricated and better prepared for deeper-impact penetration.

During sex, the “Harder!”s are just fine and dandy, as long as this is actually what feels good to you. The line between pleasure and pain can be thin, but the second it gets thick, stop or switch up what you’re doing. Sometimes pain really indicates that something’s wrong, not that something’s naughtily right.

As far as damage-control goes, the most common post-rough-sex ailments are harmlessly temporary and can be eased with a few simple preventative and/or post-sex measures.

Stay hydrated! Basic, but invaluable! Water heals wounded tissues, flushes harmful bacteria, and replenishes sweated-out liquids and lost calories.

Use a good, long-lasting, glycerin-free lubricant and lots of it. Yes Oil-Based lube isn’t compatible with latex, but coats and moisturizes sensitive vaginal tissues longer than water-based lubes do. Sliquid Sassy Booty Formula is water-based with a thicker consistency, which can soften the blow of select body parts. Don’t wait for the ouch to reach for the loving liquid—applying lube early and often prevents vaginal tearing, dryness and bleeding.

Rough sex can disrupt the vagina’s natural balance, which can cause common complaints like UTIs and yeast infections. Prevent yeasties by avoiding lubes with glycerin. Urinate just before and after sex, especially when using lingering oil- or silicone-based lubes. Peeing flushes out bacteria that shouldn’t tango with your down-there treats.

Do some yoga! Stretching sore muscles seems unsexy, but can go a long way for calf muscles tired from toe-flexing and back muscles sore from bucking a grinding. A little research can show you the best poses for getting rejuvenating blood flowing to your genitals.

As the one receiving powerful penetration, RUF, it’s totally normal to feel lower back pain or cramping, especially if your partner repeatedly hit against your cervix. What with being prepared for childbirth and all, your vagina is actually a tough S.O.B. with almost superhuman elasticity and really strong, contracting muscles that are designed to protect your precious dirty bits. A couple of days of light bleeding from vaginal tissue tears or cervix-bumping is normal, but any more than that might have you rightfully considering a gyno visit. If any of these symptoms continue for extended periods of time after your salacious sex times or are accompanied with symptoms like itching, abnormal discharge, nausea or fever, then, girl, you might have yourself a case of chlamydia or gonorrhea.

Otherwise, RUF, never underestimate the power of Ibuprofen and a microwaveable heating pad.•

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