The Waiting Game

The pros and cons of sex before marriage

Comments (85)
Saturday, September 01, 2012

“Sex, money and power are three of the most common causes of arguments in relationships. So I guess if you delay the sex until after marriage, then it could be fair to say that you may not have as many issues in your marriage,”says family therapist David Kavanagh. His comments are backed up by a recent study, led by Dean Busby from Brigham Young University in Utah, which lent some support to the idea that the longer a couple delays sex before marriage, the better chance the marriage has of surviving.

Busby and his team of researchers surveyed more than two thousand couples ranging in age from nineteen to seventy-one years and found that communication, sexual quality, perceived stability and relationship satisfaction were better for those couples who had waited until after marriage to consummate their relationship. The bottom line, then, would seem to be that in order to give marriage the best chance of survival, it’s best to make each other wait.

The academics who pioneered the study did so because of a lack of empirical data on how the timing of sex between a couple impacts on the longevity of a marriage. “What was out there was really more about adolescent sexual debut as well as research exploring how old adolescents were when they had their first sexual experiences,” says Busby, “We found nothing within the last two decades that really considered the influence of sexual timing on the current couple relationship.” The findings have drawn a certain amount of comment from  liberal and conservative groups alike.

The study itself, though, doesn’t quite go all the way, and questions as to why delaying sex might impact on the longevity of a marriage remain unanswered by the study. “Some conservative people accept the findings without question because it reflects their values,” says Busby, “while some more liberal people, in terms of sexual behaviors, won’t accept any of the findings no matter what is said. Many people in the middle are saying things like, ‘Yeah, there have been times where I should have been smarter in the decisions I made about sex.’ We also get a number of people who insist that sexual compatibility is the most important issue in a relationship. They say things such as, ‘There is no way I’m going to marry someone if I don’t know whether we are sexually compatible.’ Of course it would be a mistake for any of us to marry someone that we were not sexually attracted to, but what does sexual compatibility mean and how important is it?”

One of the significant findings of the study, which came as a surprise to the research team, was the fact that sexual timing has a stronger influence on relationship stability than on relationship satisfaction. “It appears that when a couple is sexual early, this might plant a seed of distrust or concern about commitment that can interfere with trust,” Busby says. Couples who also have sex very early on in a relationship may do so to the detriment of other aspects of their union. “When sexual behaviors are involved very early in the relationship, they become very powerful and maybe even dominate the relationship experience, so that communication and other basic relationship skills do not develop as well,” he notes.

Yet what are the chances that we could see a societal change back to the days when relationships were often only consummated after marriage? Family therapist David Kavanagh believes a move to less sex before marriage is highly unlikely: “I would say that I have met approximately only one percent of couples who are prepared to say that they are waiting for marriage before sex. I would think that we are a long way off a reversion to this form of relationship as the societal pressures to live together and the loosening of religious affiliations makes a huge impact on peoples’ lives today.”

Kavanagh says that, despite the benefits of delaying sex highlighted in this study, a liberalized view of the role sex plays in relationships has developed in society. “When parents tell children aged eighteen or younger that it is okay for their boyfriend or girlfriend to stay over, the lesson is surely that sex is more recreational than commitment-forming. Unless parents adopt a radically different view in the near future, I don’t see this changing,” he adds.

The last word, then, should go to married father of two Sean Morgan. When asked whether or not couples should consciously limit sex in their relationship before walking down the aisle, he replied: “That’s what happens after you get married.”

Brian O’Connell is an award-winning journalist, author and broadcaster based in Ireland.

Comments (85)
Post a Comment

Such a very useful article. Very interesting to read this article.I would like to thank you for the efforts you had made for writing this awesome article.


tips for clash of clash
Posted by shahzaib11 on 6.28.14 at 4:07

We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. Great work.

emulateur nintendo 3ds
Posted by shahzaib11 on 6.28.14 at 7:57

Thanks for sharing this interesting blog with us.My pleasure to being here on your blog..I wanna come beck here for new post from your site.

sexcams kostenlos testen
Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.1.14 at 13:19

This is a great article thanks for sharing this informative information. I will visit your blog regularly for some latest post. I will visit your blog regularly for Some latest post.

Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.1.14 at 14:55

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the excellent work.

how do i get a girl to like me if im ugly
Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.7.14 at 14:45

being a quantitative department - it tends to regard GDP as being a pretty good indicator. Now, many people would argue that for immigration policy, which affects the level of population as well as that of GDP, GDP per capita is a better measure (and I'd agree) - although the Treasury tends

(Recommended roseville dentists)
Posted by jackman30 on 7.8.14 at 0:50

This is an excellent post I seen thanks to share it. It is really what I wanted to see hope in future you will continue for sharing such a excellent post.

AR 15 lower build kit
Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.8.14 at 13:54

So happy to be given a privilege to post a comment here. You have a wonderful site. Thank you for the effort to publish this.


Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.8.14 at 14:34

This is an excellent post I seen thanks to share it. It is really what I wanted to see hope in future you will continue for sharing such a excellent post.

http://www.byadab.com/bed-linen/bed-sheets.html
Posted by jackman30 on 7.8.14 at 22:11

Thanks for sharing this interesting blog with us.My pleasure to being here on your blog..I wanna come beck here for new post from your site.

bed sheets in india
Posted by jackman30 on 7.8.14 at 22:12

I stumbled upon this I've found It positively helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist other users like its helped me. Good job.

loft conversion costs London
Posted by jackman30 on 7.9.14 at 1:23

Excellent article. Very interesting to read. I really love to read such a nice article. Thanks! keep rocking.

Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.9.14 at 13:51

If you have a business in Yorkshire and would appreciate extra paying customers, extra sales and greater profits, we would love to carry out SEO for you. Give us chance. We want to make your business more of a success.

Flordia Licensure Law
Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.11.14 at 2:50

Syngenta will offer its significant agronomy sources to assess its profile of plants security items together with Ceres compounds, and Ceres will offer both seeds and research assistance.

farby palette
Posted by jhonmarshal1170 on 7.12.14 at 2:38

Thanks for sharing this interesting blog with us.My pleasure to being here on your blog..I wanna come beck here for new post from your site.

venus factor
Posted by shahzaib11 on 7.12.14 at 14:30

I should say only that its awesome! The blog is informational and always produce amazing things.

Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.2.14 at 2:24

This is such a great information for me, because i do an online job thats why i need fast Internet connection, i search how to bost internet speed then ireach at a right place.

Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.2.14 at 4:57

When sexual behaviors are involved very early in the relationship, they become very powerful and maybe even dominate the relationship experience, so that communication and other basic relationship skills do not develop as well,” he notes.

Dave Morin
Posted by danialkhatri04 on 8.2.14 at 23:39

I must say that the articles in this blog are very interesting to read. The second one, I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most


Lake Life yuan ching
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.3.14 at 2:06

Useful information.I am actual blessed to read this article.thanks for giving us this advantageous information.I acknowledge this post.and I would like bookmark this post.Thanks

piyo workout
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.3.14 at 15:42

The bottom line, then, would seem to be that in order to give marriage the best chance of survival, it’s best to make each other wait.

LSU Tigers
Posted by danialkhatri04 on 8.6.14 at 1:30

I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, Especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the excellent work.

GTA SAN ANDREAS FREE DOWNLOAD
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 4:25

This is a very good tips especially to those new to blogosphere, brief and accurate information… Thanks for sharing this one. A must read article.

gta 5 money cheats
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 4:35

I should say only that its awesome! The blog is informational and always produce amazing things.

Clash of Clans on Mac
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 4:59

It was great to see the old printshop and everyone who works there again. I am excited to see a printing business still operating and growing, great job guys

3ds emulator
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 5:25

I will be interested in more similar topics. i see you got really very useful topics , i will be always checking your blog thanks.

fifa 14 coin generator
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 6:34

I finally found great post here.I will get back here. I just added your blog to my bookmark sites. thanks.Quality posts is the crucial to invite the visitors to visit the web page, that's what this web page is providing. -

http://viewsenhance.com/drip-feed-link-building-service/
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 6:47

Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work!

how to get natural white skin
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 10:36

I really like the dear information you offer in your articles. I'm able to bookmark your site and show the kids check out up here generally. Im fairly positive theyre likely to be informed a great deal of new stuff here than anyone else!

pc suite
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 10:57

I just got to this amazing site not long ago. I was actually captured with the piece of resources you have got here. Big thumbs up for making such wonderful blog page!

watch online movies
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 12:07

Thank you for your post, I look for such article along time, today i find it finally. this post give me lots of advise it is very useful for me.

compositores de music
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 12:31

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here.

Skin whitening soaps
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.6.14 at 14:11

Thanks for sharing this interesting blog with us.My pleasure to being here on your blog..I wanna come beck here for new post from your site.

horse trainer
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 3:11

Nice information, valuable and excellent design, as share good stuff with good ideas and concepts, lots of great information and inspiration, both of which I need, thanks to offer such a helpful information here.

buy phentermine online
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 3:23

Thanks so much for this information. I have to let you know I concur on several of the points you make here and others may require some further review, but I can see your viewpoint.

bellewaters ec
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 3:40

You may write about the other's comments on the blog. You could display it's proven . Your blog credence may multiply your advertisers.

Packers and Movers
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 3:43

I was very pleased to find this site.I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post

Wine refrigerator reviews
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 3:58

Useful information.I am actual blessed to read this article.thanks for giving us this advantageous information.I acknowledge this post.and I would like bookmark this post.Thanks

RolePlay
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 4:37

First You got a great blog .I will be interested in more similar topics. i see you got really very useful topics , i will be always checking your blog thanks.

call of duty
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 5:02

It's nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post!

deep packet inspection
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 12:40

I was surfing net and fortunately came across this site and found very interesting stuff here.

Helicopter Jobs
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 13:00

Your blog provided us with valuable information to work with. Each & every tips of your post are awesome.

Simpsons tapped out cheats
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 13:24

I’ve read some good stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how much effort you put to create such a great informative website.

surfboard repair
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 13:53

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine.

be irresistible by james bauer
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.7.14 at 14:42

I think that everything has been described in systematic manner so that reader could get maximum information and learn many things.

dance team uniforms
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 2:56

Some truly wonderful work on behalf of the owner of this internet site , perfectly great articles .


iphone water damage repair
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 3:12

Someone Sometimes with visits your blog regularly and recommended it in my experience to read as well. The way of writing is excellent and also the content is top-notch. Thanks for that insight you provide the readers!

Best Foundation For Dry Skin
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 3:23

Thanks for taking the time to discuss that, I feel strongly about this and so really like getting to know more on this kind of field. Do you mind updating your blog post with additional insight? It should be really useful for all of us.

game hacks
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 10:44

The place else may just I get that kind of information written in such a perfect method? I have a venture that I am simply now running on, and I’ve been at the glance out for such info.

Real guest post service
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 11:14

Hello I am so delighted I located your blog, I really located you by mistake, while I was watching on google for something else, Anyways I am here now and could just like to say thank for a tremendous post and a all round entertaining website. Please do keep up the great work.

Random Keyword
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 11:41

I have bookmarked your blog, the articles way better than other similar blogs.. thanks for a great blog!

Hosting Venezuela
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 12:05

The way of writing is excellent and also the content is top-notch. Thanks for that insight you provide the readers!

Health Daily Info
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.8.14 at 12:26

Thank you for such a well written article. It’s full of insightful information and entertaining descriptions.

travel gifts
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.9.14 at 6:47

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing blog that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free.

https://www.rebelmouse.com/mikegearytruthaboutabs/
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.9.14 at 8:17

I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!! I definitely loved every little bit of it. I have you bookmarked your site to check out the new stuff you post.

how to hack a twitter account
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.9.14 at 11:21

What you presented was well researched and well worded in order to get your stand on this across to all your readers.

Playstation network
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.9.14 at 13:12

Hey there thanks for showing me this. I must say that your blogpost was the most enjoying read I've seen in a long time. Greetings from


Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.10.14 at 6:39

Thanks for sharing the post.. parents are worlds best person in each lives of individual..

http://codegta5gratuit.fr
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.10.14 at 6:42

Thank you for helping people get the information they need. Great stuff as usual. Keep up the great work!!!

www.3dsemulateur.fr
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.10.14 at 14:27

Wow! What an eye opener this post has been for me. Very much appreciated, bookmarked, I can't wait for more!

Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.10.14 at 15:09

Health daily info is the blog I have written I will remain thankful to you if you will analyze this weight loss blog

by SEO SERVICES

Posted by Weight Loss blog on 8.11.14 at 0:02

The way of writing is excellent and also the content is top-notch. Thanks for that insight you provide the readers!

los mejores chistes
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.11.14 at 4:45

I have a hard time describing my thoughts on content, but I really felt I should here.

facebook hack online
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.12.14 at 12:56

Hey there thanks for showing me this. I must say that your blogpost was the most enjoying read I've seen in a long time. Greetings from

australian tshirt
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.12.14 at 13:15

Some truly wonderful work on behalf of the owner of this internet site , perfectly great articles .


Facebook Likes
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.12.14 at 13:37

Thank you for helping people get the information they need. Great stuff as usual. Keep up the great work!!!

Piercings
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.13.14 at 12:51

We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post.

Insured Profits - Secret Money System - Hercules Profit Pro - The Covert Society - Free Money System

Posted by Julia on 8.14.14 at 9:48

Thank you for helping people get the information they need. Great stuff as usual. Keep up the great work!!!

go to hamton bay lighting website
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.15.14 at 2:48

Thanks for writing such a good article, I stumbled onto your blog and read a few post. I like your style of writing...

where can i find someone to write my college paper
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.15.14 at 15:13

I was reading your article and wondered if you had considered creating an ebook on this subject. Your writing would sell it fast. You have a lot of writing talent.

where can i find garcinia cambogia
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.16.14 at 4:58

Hi there to all or any, however is everything, i feel each one is obtaining a lot of from this web site, and your views area unit nice in support of recent users.

purble place game free
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.16.14 at 6:13

it was a wonderful chance to visit this kind of site and I am happy to know.

where to buy pure garcinia cambogia
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.16.14 at 6:14

First You got a great blog .I will be interested in more similar topics. i see you got really very useful topics , i will be always checking your blog thanks.

more from the blog
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.16.14 at 7:23

I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business.


Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.16.14 at 8:09

Its a great pleasure reading your post.Its full of information I am looking for and I love to post a comment that "The content of your post is awesome" Great work.

garcinia cambogia work
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.16.14 at 14:24

Gypsy jazz seemed a perfect genre choice, a lively acoustic version of swing jazz with a dose of Continental savoir-faire. I've seldom had so much fun, and well, if you can't have fun at your own reception...

your-accountingservices.com

Posted by jhonmarshal1170 on 8.17.14 at 6:07

This is very nice one and gives indepth information. Thanks for this nice article.

click here to visit hampton bay ceiling fan lighting kit website
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.17.14 at 13:28

I agree with you. This post is truly inspiring. I like your post and everything you share with us is current and very informative.

Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.17.14 at 13:39

I have read your blog it is very helpful for me. I want to say thanks to you. I have bookmark your site for future updates.

v2 standard kit review
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.18.14 at 13:41

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information?


read manga online
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.19.14 at 7:16

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible,/..

Alabama Crimson Tide
Posted by micheljhon on 8.21.14 at 4:46

All I want to say is, yes! Yes! Yes! You're so right. I want to get behind this so much. You speak with so much authority, so much spirit, I feel as though you've definitely hit the nail on the head.

juego 2
Posted by shahzaib11 on 8.21.14 at 13:23

had their first sexual experiences,” says Busby, “We found nothing within the last two decades that really considered the influence of sexual timing on the current couple relationship.” The findings have drawn a certain amount of comment from liberal and conservative groups alike.

Macys Insite Login
Posted by danialkhatri04 on 8.22.14 at 10:03

When parents tell children aged eighteen or younger that it is okay for their boyfriend or girlfriend to stay over, the lesson is surely that sex is more recreational than commitment-forming. Unless parents adopt a radically different view in the near future, I don’t see this changing,” he adds.

Bresnan Login
Posted by danialkhatri04 on 8.22.14 at 13:15

There is no way I’m going to marry someone if I don’t know whether we are sexually compatible.’ Of course it would be a mistake for any of us to marry someone that we were not sexually attracted to, but what does sexual compatibility mean and how important is it?”

empowering youth
Posted by danialkhatri04 on 8.23.14 at 0:07
Comment:

Name:

Password:

New User/Guest?

Find it Here:
keyword:
search type:
search in:

« Previous   |   Next »
Print Email RSS feed

Halfway to Handmade
These wedding invitations aren't mass-produced.
All-Seasons, All-Service
The Hotel Northampton can do your wedding's heavy lifting
Love in a Storm
When the heavens open on your wedding day
Magical Memories: Michelle & Glenn Provencher
Bed-iquette
A well-rested couple is a happy couple.
Fresh Start
Getting married OFF the beaten path
The Waiting Game
The pros and cons of sex before marriage
First comes love...
Having a baby before marriage? Who says that's not the way things are supposed to be?