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The P-Spot (Part II): Exploring the great back door

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Thursday, September 02, 2010

If you read last week's column (and did your homework) you're probably at least intrigued about the male G-spot (the prostate, or P-spot), and, hopefully, those pesky myths about taking it up the you-know-what (it's "gay", "dirty", "painful", etc.) are now out of the way of raucous (and safe) rump romping.

Though general anal tips apply to ladies, too, the male prostate is most easily reached with a curved toy (or fingers), as this is the natural shape your rectum takes to the P-spot. When inserted, the object's curve should point toward the belly button (if your partner is on his knees, curve down; on his back, curve up). The P-spot responds best to a curved rocking motion and attention to your partner's pressure and speed preferences. Working with a...stiffer, straighter object? Coming from behind or putting someone's legs over their head makes things more accessible.

Be selective about what to put up your butt. Your anus contains bacteria that are only healthy for your booty; your anal toys should be made from non-porous material like silicone or TPR plastic that can be disinfected with soap and water. Though porous materials like CyberSkin are less expensive, they can permanently collect bacteria that are harmful to other body parts or when anally reinserted. Always use condoms with porous materials. Before sharing or switching activities with any toy or body part used anally, wash it with soap and water if non-porous or change its condom.

Start with fingers, as they keep all parties in touch and allow beginners to adjust size accordingly. Cut your fingernails and use gloves or finger cots. For lone-riders, though, toys provide an easier reach. Anal toys should be smooth and have a wide base to prevent them from being "lost." Your anal muscles react to insertion by sucking in: great for your partner's body parts, not so great when your toy gets trip-to-the-ER kind of lost. It doesn't matter how "good your grip" is: your anus's grip is better.

There are three categories of anal toys: beads, dildos and plugs. Graduated beads are anally inserted one by one and are great for first-timers as you can insert as many as you'd like, starting with the smallest and working up. Beads provide pleasure as your anus works over the beads and contracts around the small spaces (or "string") between them. Anal beads really work their magic when slowly removed during orgasm.

Plugs are like shorter dildos designed to stay put, resulting in continuous, pleasurable pressure while you're otherwise occupied. The narrower the plug's neck, the stronger grip your anus will have, making sure it doesn't slip out. A good place to start is with beginning plugs like The Bootie, Pandora (whose seven vibration patterns relax and stimulate), The Naughty Boy (which simultaneously vibrates the perineum) and The Aneros (which was doctor-designed to rock into the prostate with your breathing rhythms and orgasmic contractions). Anal muscles are extra tight after orgasm, so give yourself time before removing plugs post-climax.

Dildos are for the ol' faithful in-and-out. Extra anally-awesome ones include double-ended dildos and double harnesses. Though straight double dildos are most common, those with a slight bend in the middle are more anally friendly and easier to use with or without a harness, providing penetration for both the giver and receiver (try Vixen Creations' Nexus line, vixencreations.com).

Some final tips: lube is anally essential. A thick, water-based gel is best (try Sliquid Sassy Booty Formula, sliquid.com), providing a long-lasting cushion that stays in place longer than standard liquids like Astroglide. No numbing creams! They only mask your body's warning that something's wrong. You'll feel it in the morning anyway, and what's the point of anal sex if your butt's numb? Like all good sex, anal sex is better (and easier) with foreplay. Take your time and don't forget those other body parts (we know how that back door can suck you in)."

Got a question about how to tickle your fancy? Post a comment online, or email Yana at editor@valleyadvocate.com and include "V-spot" in the subject line.The P-Spot (Part II):
Exploring the great back door

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