Sen. Lindsey Graham, possessor of the most irritating Southern accent since Gomer Pyle, today intoned this gem in his mock-serious way as part of his demand that Obama cut funds to so-called “entitlement” programs:

“I will never vote to raise the debt ceiling unless we produce real structural reforms to save Medicare and Social Security from bankruptcy and prevent our country from becoming Greece.”

I, for one, am totally on-board with preventing our becoming Greece. This must be stopped now, before anything else gets written in that funny alphabet. Becoming a Mediterranean country wouldn’t be all bad, but I’m just getting good at French and don’t want to have to switch. It would also require a total overhaul of our cuisine and wardrobes, and add far too many syllables to our names. It would also mean that we neighbored Turkey, which could make Thanksgiving awkward.

Say it loud and say it proud: stop Hellenization now!