Usually when one hears the word “porn,” intimate kissing scenes between real couples or romantic dramas aren’t what come to mind. Though the readily available “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” adult flicks can be hot, they aren’t for everyone. Maybe those types of films are what led you to believe that you aren’t a “porn person,” or that porn just doesn’t “do it for you”. Well, with a little research, you might find that porn isn’t just for the stereotypical bored frat guy, but can also be for the porn-shy couple.

Some of the most approachable pornos are “educational.” Like Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guides to Anal Pleasure for Men, Fellatio and Threesomes (to name a few), these films start with informative workshops followed by explicit examples of your topic of choice. Learning a sexy new skill in this way not only spices it up for you and your sweetie, but also dilutes the “porn” aspect of the film while still being visually hot. Other educational films include Carol Queen’s Bend Over Boyfriend and Deborah Sundahl’s Female Ejaculation: The Workshop.

Documentaries appeal to the pornophobe by mixing the educationally nice with the naughty. Madison Young’s Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality is just one example of these pornumentaries; it interviews queer women about deconstructing their sexual labels before filming them physically acting on them. For a more heterosexual focus, try The Barcelona Sex Project.

Tony Comstock directs a ground-breaking series of pornographic films which focus on “real people, real life, real sex.” Each follows a wide range of real-life couples, including married Matt and Khym, seniors Bill and Desiree, women of color Ashley and Kisha, and Damon and Hunter (with their very atypical gay male porn story), interviewing them about their relationships and explicitly filming their sexual interactions. For those yearning for pornographic yet real chemistry and caring, these films are a breath of fresh air.

For a slightly raunchier form of chemistry, Tristan Taormino had the ingenious idea of taking a handful of porn stars and locking them in a house together for 36 hours with cameras and lube. In her four-part Chemistry series, these stars film themselves how, when, where and with whom they want to, making for some sexy sparks unparalleled in classic nudie flicks.

For those who like a side of plot with their sex (without the pizza delivery boy and the naked babysitter), try the most awarded adult film release ever, Pirates — featuring the Jenna Jameson-esque (in reputation and giggling blonde mass appeal) Jesse Jane. This decently acted adventure flick takes the bustiest of maids and the hunkiest of seamen through action-packed waves that are sure to get all involved more than a little wet. Though the first is great, the second is even better with an all-star cast featuring fan favorites Belladonna, Sasha Grey and James Deen.

To get the plot without the cheese, All About Anna is a perfect new-to-porn fit. This sex-positive, female-focused foreign film follows Anna through romance and relationships that make for a classic drama with the twist of explicit sex scenes. Named “Best Couple’s Film” in Scandinavia’s porn awards, this movie is a smooth introduction to adult films.

Andrew Blake uniquely appreciates and titillates the female form in his artistic, visually stunning films such as Paid Companions, House Pets and Naked Diva. Focusing primarily on women’s erotic beauty with minimal sex acts, these movies are perfect for couples wanting to experiment with visually arousing cinematic backdrops to their own sexual playtime.

Newly released and already gaining a reputation as “one of the best couples films of all time”, An Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco follows a happily married duo who are intrigued by the swingers lifestyle. With a refreshingly relatable concentration on their open communication and mutual experimentation, their subtle dialogue makes for believable sex scenes which include an actual swingers’ party.

For more tips on finding porn that fits your fantasies, try The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn by Violet Blue. Still not finding flickable flicks? Don’t put the lube away yet. Look for future articles on alternative porn, woman-directed films and girl-on-girl for the queer girl.

Got a question about how to tickle your fancy? Post a comment online, or email Yana at editor@valleyadvocate.com and include “V-Spot” in the subject line.