Everyone’s always looking for the G-spot. With its reputation, who wouldn’t? So boys, how would you feel if I told you that you had a G-spot equivalent—the P-spot, which can lead to longer, stronger and multiple male orgasms? Now what if I told you that it’s only accessed through your rectum? That “P” actually stands for “prostate”? Still with me?
Think about your reactions to the idea of discovering the P-spot through anal play. Well, wall-pounding orgasms sound good. But other keywords may include “painful,” “dirty” and of course, “gay.” Unfortunately, these little words are enough to keep many from the orgasmic world hidden up your dark alley. Let’s get them out of the way of some mind-blowing sex, shall we?
The prostate is a soft, walnut-shaped orgasm turbo-switch surrounding your urethra just below the bladder, where urine passes through. When turned on, it swells with fluid which it expels during ejaculation. As men age, it can enlarge, making urination difficult, and is directly affected by prostate cancer, which all men over 50 should be checked for annually. Though our often homophobic, bootyphobic culture hates to actually research it, prostate massage has been known to ease the discomfort and risk of prostate enlargement. Though it’s not a preventive or treatment tool for cancer, prostate massage has been linked to prostate health. So, if you need an excuse, having anal sex “for your health” is a great one.
“But I’m not gay!”, you might say. Well, you still have a prostate. And it’ll probably feel damn good when it’s massaged. The idea that only gay men enjoy or know how to have anal sex is an unfortunate myth. Physical sex acts aren’t completely based on your gender or sexuality, but are about what feels good to your body. If you were born with a male body, you probably have a pleasurable prostate. You can still be a truck-driving ladies’ man and take it in the yoo-hoo… “like a man,” of course.
“But, that’s where poop comes from! Dirty!” That’s right, it’s dirty. And shit happens. However, it doesn’t happen often during anal sex. If you’re worried, take precautionary steps. Wash a little extra in the shower. If you feel the need, go. Anal douches are also an option. But the rectum usually takes good care of itself, so this step can be extreme—I’d recommend letting your butt fend for itself.
Though anal sex is often linked to “gay,” which is then harmfully and stereotypically linked to “HIV,” anal sex requires many of the same safety precautions as vaginal sex. Safety is important. Rectal tissues are sensitive, don’t self-lubricate, and so can tear easily. Using a lot of a good lube and barriers are anally essential. Make sure to change your glove and condom or wash your toy, hands or other body part before moving onto other things (especially the vagina!) after anal play to prevent infections.
“Rectal tears? Anal sex’s gonna hurt!” With communication, relaxation, education and lubrication, anal sex shouldn’t hurt. If you spend your anal playtime worrying about pain, it will manifest itself in your body—including your anus —which, constricts when we’re afraid, making things difficult. Educating yourself about anal sex is the first step to anal pleasure, as it will disband stigmas and fears that prevent many from being okay with enjoying their butts for more than just sitting.
Before you bend over, take this week to do some homework. Read Anal Pleasure and Health for Men by Bill Brent and Luscious, a collection of anal-centric erotica edited by Alison Tyler. Then watch Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex, an educational porn involving explicit (and mostly heterosexual) derriere debauchery with pop-up factoids. That should get you warmed up for next week’s column on anal tips, tricks and toys. How convenient. You know me—always keeping them coming…